The last time that I was writing, so much was happening that I had a bad case of spastic tunnel vision. Hell, I couldn’t even see the tunnel I was in, honestly.
That was about 6 months ago. Seeing that in writing makes it seem like it was such a short time ago. In my reality, it seems like so much has changed that it could have been years ago.
Here is what happened in the last year alone:
I went through flight school as a loving partner to a pilot student. I moved to Hawaii where they were first stationed. We were notified of a deployment last minute that was not supposed to really happen. My fiancee left me in Hawaii to go on deployment and then broke up with me via Skype to be with someone else. She came back. We had to live together in the same house for three months or so and then parted ways. I am now on my own life path and really loving who I am and who I am becoming.
In other words, I have experienced the following:
– Panicking about what to do with all my stuff and myself and my dogs 10,000 miles away from family….on an island
– Learning not to panic because everything will be ok.
– Panicking because I had to live with her when she came back as moving out could not be afforded yet (Hawaii is expensive).
– Learning not to panic because, well, it is what it is and you just gotta accept life.
– Panicking because I needed to move out and would possibly be homeless come March.
– Learning not to panic because eerything works out….even if that means finding roommates, a house that allows dogs and fits my budget, and being able to move happened all at the very last possible second.
I have learned the ukulele, watched myself change with Crossfit, fallen for another helicopter pilot and wished them well as they left for Afghanistan (yes, yes, I know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results…at least this one is a Chinook pilot, yeah? :))
I have watched myself become much healthier, much happier, and much more mature and understanding. I still have loads to learn but it is great to feel independent and strong. Going through one hell of a year can really change you for the better.
It was almost like the Universe decided I was on the wrong path and then began to take napalm to every facet of my life until I got back on track.
My next posts will be on my new job teaching reading without a curriculum and no precedent (but a whole lot of passion), poetry I have written, songs I will goofily sing on ukulele, updates on dealing with deployments to Afghanistan with helicopter pilots again, and hiking and living in Hawaii. Hopefully this time next year I will be backpacking with my love when she returns from the sandbox!
Music Box Symphony 