Life is full of changes, ups and downs, everything happens for a reason…blah blah. It has been said by everyone with a mouthpiece. What they fail to really tell you is that the changes can just utterly suck. They can kick you while you’re already down and they can just as easily dethrone your cocky self in your moments of pure happiness. Bottom line is: change happens. And honestly, it is almost always good in the end, no matter how much it sucks at first.
I used to be the type that was so upset by change I did not control. It freaked me out. It caused anxiety and sleepless nights. Then this past year happened and the universe decided to dump a fair amount of unwanted and unplanned change all over me like divine vomit. Almost everything in my life changed within a few months and it was harsh for a little whiner like me. I have finally gotten to the point where I have cleaned this off and, luckily for me, I have learned quite a bunch (and become way less of a whiny baby).
The two most important things I have learned are:
1) Change is inevitable and the only thing you can control is yourself
2) You can prepare yourself to be ready to meet those challenges by taking care of what matters the most: yourself. (My old self, at this point, would reject any thought that taking care of myself was a good idea. Seemed selfish. Well, that was dumb, old self.)
To continue, we must jump back a bit:
A few years ago, in 2010, I gained a whole bunch of weight. I had been super skinny my whole life and always the smallest kid in the class. In fact, I was outraged when a girl two inches shorter than me showed up to my 4th grade class (AND she could DRAW). I stood in line, grumpy and upset because my identity as “the short kid” who could grab the blackberries from behind the fence was starting to disappear. AND SHE COULD DRAW.
It was because of this that I somehow failed to notice how much bigger I had gotten. Now, I have very skinny arms and legs and I am 5’5″ now. Whatever powers there be decided to bless me with the legs of a swimmer or gymnast and the torso of a small person. All of this, combined with big hips, makes me look somewhat like this. Big middle and long lanky appendages.
I went into this mode of getting myself thinner, along with healthier. I stopped eating processed food for the most part. I threw out most gluten and dairy for a while, too. The results were great! Gone was the terrible ADD, gone was the aches and pains, and gone were the extra pounds.
Of course, I fell off the bandwagon multiple times and climbed back on wounded and bruised a few months later.
After the breakup, I decided to eat more simply. Partly this was because sweets and chips were too tempting in my times of dire self-pity. I could binge all day if I left that crap in the house. I got a CSA basket instead and started eating so many veggies. I got a blender. I joined crossfit. I started eating organic, local stuff. I then met a great girl who also eats this way. I have personally decided to become a vegetarian at this point and I eat very well. On top of this, I have become educated on GMO’s, food additives, etc.
This has cured most of my anxiety issues, if not all. It has also helped my digestive system, eliminated my constant aches and pains, eliminated my headaches, and evened my mood out. I am not saying this is for everyone and I still have work to do. It is exciting to know that I am taking care of myself though. I am making an investment in my future. And eating healthier is actually cheaper when you do it right. It definitely didn’t seem that way.
I have also embraced certain aspects of Buddhism that I find spiritually important and I follow The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
I try to follow them, anyways. Obviously, I like to do a lot of falling off bandwagons. Builds character, I suppose. However, even repeating them a few times a week has allowed them to silently leak into my daily life choices and I like it. Here is a longer and more thorough explanation of them for you, if you are interested!
Anyways, all of this has led me to be a person who handles issues much better.For instance, the S.O. just deployed for a year and I am handling this with such a clear head. I am thankful.
My next few steps are going to be really implementing meditation (which will probably be very hard for my scattered and distracted brain) and getting rid of chemical cleaners in my life.
Sometimes you gotta be thankful for Universe Vomit. It just may set you on some new and good paths.
The road to Makua beach, one of my new sacred spots.